what am i doing?

Ever since I started high school I've had this feelin in my stomach that time was runnin away from me, not cuz I was growin up but cuz I have a purpose in life and a small window that I have to achieve my purpose in. I went through high school with that feeling constantly pokin at me and I walked across the stage at graduation, achieving what, unfortunately, alotta black males dont but still I felt empty, like so what, big deal, I still havent done shit. Understand that that is not on some cocky arrogant shit, but just that I know my purpose in life and that I hadnt done anything to move towards it at that point so the shit wasnt a big deal to me. So now I'm at college, one of the best schools in Texas and America, but still I'm not happy. God's been so good to me, but he made me, he made me like this so he knows this aint what I want, he knows the hunger thats in me for more. I just wanna do my music but the fear of failing keeps me here in school gettin a degree I could honestly give two shits and a handshake about, why? "cuz you gotta have a back up plan" But I dont plan on failing so why do I need a back up plan. I've had a lot of dreams and (admittedly) stupid ideas in the past that I look back on like "wow, wtf was I thinkin, that was a terrible idea or desire" and because of that I look at my current dreams or plans for the future and say to myself, "20 years from now what am I going to think and feel about this?" When I apply music to that question, I dont see myself having any regrets. God gave me this and I know it, I can change things with this. So what am I doing? I'm here, feeling trapped, again, waitin for somethin to happen. But its on me now to MAKE somethin happen. God, take my fears away from me and help me to step off the ledge and know that you won't let me fall...

35oz, We are not a movement, We are an infection.
Hip-Hop Insurgents

God, I'm ready, I'm takin the first step, Walk with me.